(5 min read) If you’re a perfectionist writer, I want to tell you right now that it doesn’t have to f*ckin’ matter. You can keep all your perfectionist tendencies and still be productive, make work that’s beloved, and (like me) even have a professional writing career for 20+ years. You don’t need to be fixed or cured.
Perfectionist writer, give me the next five-ish minutes and I’ll give you my best practical advice for how to be a perfectionist writer who still DOES THE STUFF.
I’m doing it right now, even though I identify as (and have the behavioral instincts of) a total perfectionist.
But I’m also a writer, and I refuse to wait on my writing goals until I sort all that out. Perfectionism is an ego thing, it’s an identity thing, and if you want to make some creative work it’s not practical to wait until you’ve solved your whole ego and shifted your entire identity first. If you try to change or unpack or remake your identity before you start writing… it’s gonna take a real long time to finish that writing project. You might be dead before you’re ever “fully healed,” so if you want to actually write your thing before you die, try some of these tactics and see if they get you moving.
I’m not a therapist. These tips aren’t about loving yourself or accepting your flaws or changing your mind. Not at all. These are DIRTY TRICKS for working with the obsessive, anxious, brilliant mind you have. It’s great to heal, but being healed isn’t the price of admission for being a productive creative person. You can work with (and while) being a perfectionist writer.
I did it for decades, and these tricks helped.
Practical Tips for the Perfectionist Writer
1) Get SOMETHING perfect. If you’re gonna try and do things perfectly, make that possible for yourself by picking ONE THING in your writing that you can get absolutely perfect. It’s very satisfying. If you’re gonna be a perfectionist writer, channel it. Pick something specific to get just right. Then REALLY do it. For example, be a perfectionist about ending every sentence perfectly.
2) Keep your standards and HATE YOUR WORK. You don’t have to love what you make. It’s great to feel that way, and if you make enough stuff you’ll probably love some of it, but you don’t have to. Leonardo da Vinci likely worked on the Mona Lisa for 16 years, painting and repainting it, and it was still in his studio when he died. Some historians think he was actually continuing to work on it a few brushstrokes at a time up to his death, and considered it imperfect and unfinished. (art history fact.) It’s still a f*ckin’ masterpiece. If Leonardo da Vinci wasn’t happy with THE MONA LISA why do you need to be happy with what you’ve written? (It’s nice to write something you love, but enthusiastic self-regard is not actually the price of admission for being a writer.)
3) Willingly MARTYR yourself. Try this mindset re-frame and see if you like it. Instead of being afraid you’ll be embarrassed by making work that doesn’t meet your quality standards, be proud that you’re strong enough to withstand that DEEP SHAME for the greater good. Only you can be the hero who takes all the embarrassment onto their own shoulders personally in order for other people to enjoy the best of what your writing can offer. Being embarrassed by your work is a noble sacrifice, actually, and you’re a noble martyr for the rest of us. (If you’re curious, read more about my adventures with this tactic in my 3-minute post “draw a pig who farts.”)
4) Get SCARED OF QUITTING. You’re free to quit writing. Forever. Right now. Nobody cares if you don’t make stuff. Only you care. If you don’t want to quit, why the f*ck not? Get specific. Maybe even make a list. Why are you writing? When you know WHY you’re even bothering to try to write at all, then you’re ready for the next step. Picture yourself about to die and you haven’t written. Close your eyes and really face that moment. How do you feel? Do you experience guilt, shame, regret? Picture it in vivid detail. You never got over your block and wrote; you’re dying with blank pages; nobody will ever read the thing you might have made. Get sad. Get scared. Why? Because this BIG EXISTENTIAL TERROR can bite the head off the weenie whining anxiety that’s keeping you from writing. The only thing scarier than writing is NOT WRITING. How will you feel if you never write? Try scaring yourself straight. Being a perfectionist writing usually comes from anxiety. Getting anxious is a skill and some nervous systems are really expert at it. Leverage that. If you’re gonna be anxious, get anxious in a way that’s useful: get scared of not writing. (This motivation tip applies some science-backed insights I gained from reading the fascinating book “Get it Done” by behavioral scientist Ayelet Fishbach. (Support my site by grabbing it at this affiliate bookshop link.)
5) Set a PROCESS GOAL. Instead of setting a productivity goal like “write the book” (impossible for anyone to do perfectly, because it’s subjective), try a process goal like “write for 100 hours in the next three months,” (something you can ACTUALLY succeed at perfectly.) I did this exact thing and it moved me away from flipping out about the quality of a script I had to write and into flipping out about what kind of time-tracking chart was best, whether to count by the minute or by the hour, whether it was better to try for a daily average writing time or go in spurts, and other such HARMLESS PROBLEMS. Meanwhile, I was making real progress on my actual work (writing) and hit the script deadline for my producer without getting in my own way. Process goals are a fun workaround for perfectionist writers. (I’ll blog more about process vs product goals soon, because both can be useful.)
6) Just look at STAR WARS. It’s a mess but it gets just enough stuff right. All you have to do is get a few things right. If you can aim for making the best parts of your writing even better, that’s what will make your work matter. Get the best parts really perfect. In writing, that’s what it means to do a perfect job. (I kinda think you can beat perfectionism with star wars.)
Being a Perfectionist Writer is FINE
Is this blog post perfect? Not even close. So if I could put this thing up out here in public, how can I be an actual official notary-approved perfectionist? Well, I do the stuff I just told you about. Being a perfectionist writer has been a huge thing for me for MOST OF MY LIFE and I’ve written and published hundreds of things seen by millions of people anyway. I write a million words a year in spite of my perfectionist tendencies, because I’ve got strategy on my side. You can do this. WITHOUT HEALING YOURSELF TO BECOME PERFECT.
(If you think you might have a unique or previously undiscovered form of perfectionism that needs a special approach, or if these tactics work for a while but you need more, or if you just hate this blog post and really feel urgently compelled to tell me why in vivid detail for an hour, I’m into that. Book me for a no-strings sliding scale private coaching session.)
I believe every perfectionist writer is a genius. It’s just a matter of outsmarting yourself so the rest of the world can get to see what you have to offer. If you want to read a little about that, check out my micro-manifesto “I Love Perfectionists.”
xo, megan
Or just go home to the blog.
These (hopefully) really quite helpful creative writing tips offer what I’ve learned as an award-winning author who writes a million words a year, and what I’ve learned about supporting others as a private writing coach.
There’s no one way to write. There’s only your way. I hope some of my tactics and ideas can help you find it.
Yup, I’m a writing coach.
I work with folks at all levels of experience and all levels of income. My writers range from unhoused teens living on the streets to C-suite executives who want to up-level their communication. If you want a private coaching session but can’t afford it, email megan@howtowritesomething.com and ask for scholarship info.
curious/confused?: what does a writing coach do (and not do)
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